The worst thing

I sit here before you.
I refused to give up my faith.
I smile, and you think I'm mocking you.
I loved a man.
My people were persecuted.
I cry, and you think I'm putting on an act.

They can burn you with for example a cigarette on face, neck, shoulders, genitals.

That was not the worst thing.

They can crush or break your fingers, hands, arms, toes, feet, legs. They can pull out your hair, teeth, nails.

That was not the worst thing.

They can penetrate you with for example a stick, a gun or an ordinary soda bottle.

That was not the worst thing.

They can force you to dig your own grave, put a bag over your head and fire shots close to your head.

That was not the worst thing.

They can force you to choose between being killed or letting someone you love be killed.

That was not the worst thing.

I fled my country.
The breath is what is left. Spirit.
Now I sit here before you.
I came to a safe place.
You can thank me now.
For being invited to participate in this.
But you don't believe me.

What is the worst thing?

They can dismiss you and your story with a word. Unlikely. Not credible.

Who are you sitting there to judge me?
Don't you know who I am?
I'm your dignity.
I'm your god.
Kneel down and let us cry and pray together.


Norwegian version published in
Aftenposten, 26.januar 2011